I Will Follow You Into the Dark

SPRING SEMESTER

When I can’t decide between all my guy options

When one of my friends finally arrives at a party where I don’t know anyone

When I try to change the subject when someone asks me how my love life is going

SATURDAY MORNINGS IN COLLEGE

FRESHMAN YEAR:

NOW:

WHEN SOMETIMES I JUST SUCK AT LIFE

WHEN SOMEONE ALREADY STARTS TALKING ABOUT NEXT SEMESTER

I’M LIKE:

WHEN MY BOSS MAKES A JOKE

I’M LIKE:

When I get home from class and into a blanket

IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF YEARS

SOME PEOPLE I KNOW:

ME:

When my toothpaste takes a suicide dive off my toothbrush & into the sink…

Spotting my crush

When I’m sober:

When I’m not:

Busting a move

When I’m sober:

When I’m drunk:

WHEN I INGEST A LARGE AMOUNT OF CAFFEINE TO GET ME THROUGH STUDYING

THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF THE SEMESTER

ARE LIKE:

AND:

AND: